"I love a guy who can cry"

[Himmler]

Right Ill try to keep this short

I was talking to a girl the other day. We generally talked about films as I know thats what her passion is.

After a slight lull in the convo I said "So, tell me something you havent told anyone before, a little secret" she was being a little shy and not sure what to say, so I went first.

Linking in with the film theme I said something along the lines of "Well, Ive never told this to anyone before, but I had that 'theres something in my eye' moment while watching Green Mile, I wasnt exactly full out crying but ya know...(pause).. and I go around telling people that Im a real man, Im Macho Man (Richard Pryor impression)" It was a light hearted comment, half-joke sort of thing.

She giggled and said that she loved a guy who can cry and show his emotions and then went on talking about bunch of films that have made her cry etc etc.

Anyway, this conversation got me thinking.

From reading a few e-books and lurking here I know that in order to attract girls it is important to be an Alpha male, (or Alpha nice), be all confident and macho and so on and not really show your sensitive side.

Sissy guys and soft guys finish last. Being soppy is bad.

But, when a girl says she likes a sensitive guy, a man who can cry, is it ever ok to show your sensitive side, I dont mean start crying and become some reverse cuddle bitch, but if she opens up to you emotionally, is it ever ok to show that you too have/had those same feelings?

When girls say they like a sensitive man, do they mean it? or is it some kind of a shit test? a trap?

Do you just carry on being this cocky, confident guy and ignore it or can it be beneficial to relate to what she's saying, tell her about the time you felt the same way she did (Im not talking about when she's upset cuz she broke up with a guy) and not necessarily when she's upset either. But like my Green Mile example, but maybe something deeper...

And more importantly, when is it ok to show her that you too have an emotional side?

Anyone get what Im trying to say? Any useful input will be appreciated.

[amyr78]

Don't ever show your emotional side. She didn't really know waht she was saying. She doesn not like emotional guys. She likes YOU. Do not cry. She'd have said she liked whatever it was about you tha tyou were saying.

[Himmler]

Originally Posted by amyr78

Don't ever show your emotional side. She didn't really know waht she was saying. She doesn not like emotional guys. She likes YOU. Do not cry. She'd have said she liked whatever it was about you tha tyou were saying.

Fair enough that, I'd never cry, not what I had in mind, but I was thinking more about relating from the 'I' perspective.

Like, for example, the said girl was talking about how she rarely sees her dad as her parents have split and it upsets her.

Im in the same boat and see my dad extremely rarely as he is in a completely diff country. I told her that, but thats where I stopped. I didnt go into how it makes me feel.

But then I wondered, if I had gone into how I feel, would it have been beneficial in any way?

She said that she wants to feel this huge connection with a guy before she goes out with him, that she really wants to relate yadi yada. And I assume there are quite a few other girls like that.

So I just wondered afterwards, if opening up would have helped to get that connection, or would it have just had a negative affect in the way she (or other girls) perceive me???

[ringout]

Originally Posted by Himmler

Fair enough that, I'd never cry, not what I had in mind, but I was thinking more about relating from the 'I' perspective.

Like, for example, the said girl was talking about how she rarely sees her dad as her parents have split and it upsets her.

Im in the same boat and see my dad extremely rarely as he is in a completely diff country. I told her that, but thats where I stopped. I didnt go into how it makes me feel.

But then I wondered, if I had gone into how I feel, would it have been beneficial in any way?

She said that she wants to feel this huge connection with a guy before she goes out with him, that she really wants to relate yadi yada. And I assume there are quite a few other girls like that.

So I just wondered afterwards, if opening up would have helped to get that connection, or would it have just had a negative affect in the way she (or other girls) perceive me???

lol i think amy was being sarcastic, just maybe. Honestly it's fine to show your 'vulnerable' side every now and then, like your 'inner nerd' or something, but I wouldn't cry, it's far too pussy. Despite what she tells you, don't 'open up' either, otherwise she'll figure you out, get bored and fuck the next stranger.

[Exavion]

Yeah I think showing some emotion is okay, you just have to know when to draw the line. At least, towards the start of the relationship, where assumptions are made and matter most.

As long as you're confident in yourself and just want to have fun, I think you're golden. People complicate this much more so than is needed.

[amyr78]

Originally Posted by Himmler

Fair enough that, I'd never cry, not what I had in mind, but I was thinking more about relating from the 'I' perspective.

Like, for example, the said girl was talking about how she rarely sees her dad as her parents have split and it upsets her.

Im in the same boat and see my dad extremely rarely as he is in a completely diff country. I told her that, but thats where I stopped. I didnt go into how it makes me feel.

But then I wondered, if I had gone into how I feel, would it have been beneficial in any way?

She said that she wants to feel this huge connection with a guy before she goes out with him, that she really wants to relate yadi yada. And I assume there are quite a few other girls like that.

So I just wondered afterwards, if opening up would have helped to get that connection, or would it have just had a negative affect in the way she (or other girls) perceive me???

Wait, so you're not even "going out" yet? You are destined for IWdom with this girl.

[El Guapo98]

Didnt bother to read OP post, just NEXT. Usually works.

[Himmler]

I don't really care about this going out with this girl tbh, I was just practising with her so to speak, and after the convo I just wondered if I could take any lessons away from it.

Mainly about revealing my 'emotional side', hence I made this thread to get advice from you guys, as Im not very experienced in this stuff.

[illmatic]

By saying she likes sensitive guys she means shes trying to avoid boring guys/assholes. Be a strong willed man. That's a universal thing in demand. Your 'sensitive' side is just being intimate with them and being able to have light hearted fun.

[Segun Dunt]

lol i think amy was being sarcastic, just maybe. Honestly it's fine to show your 'vulnerable' side every now and then, like your 'inner nerd' or something, but I wouldn't cry, it's far too pussy.

I don't respect men who show emotional vulnerability in my presence so I assume the majority of women find a man who dips into his emotional vulnerabilities on more than the rare (and appropriate) occasion to be weak.

And as a tag along to emotion, what do you guys think about time management as something else to keep in check? IMO some dude constantly bitching about his busy schedule and what he has on his plate is as pathetic as starting a hissy fit.

Your 'sensitive' side is just being intimate with them and being able to have light hearted fun.

Best advice yet.