View Full Version : Need opener quick
Manowar 11-15-2006, 03:35 PM Need opener/quick routine
Alright here is the deal... im the library supposed to be working on a lab report for my chem class, but im bored so im not doing shit...
Yeah so there is this girl sitting a couple of rows ahead of me who i want to pick up... havent read much PUA stuff lately and need some suggestion from my fellow Alpha wannabe friends form IW.com 8) She looks like the kinda nerdy, smart girl and wears glasess if you can work with that.
If i get the balls and with some of your help ill be trying my first cold approach EVER later at the caffeteria with her (i usually see her there when i go eat, stalker ftw)
I was thinking going with the whole "Hey you look like someone id like to meet" and then if she got all bitchy "Do you treat everyone you meet like this?" (seems overused to me tho)
Help puleeze
RedSeraph 11-15-2006, 04:00 PM Ugh, those openers are horrible. :roll: Here's why:
"You look like someone I'd like to meet" translates to "I am looking to meet someone, you're the hapless victim." Sounds real clingy. Hell, even using my translation would work better for you, but I don't recommend it in a cafeteria setting. Might work at a party, but bad in your scenario.
"Do you treat everyone you meet like this?" is also like... maybe trying too hard, I think you think that's a neg, but it isn't. It WOULD be if you were saying it to someone ELSE there, because then she'd be defending her rep to that other person, the damage is higher. Damage is insignificant in one-on-one there, especially this early in the convo, because you haven't even demonstrated value yet, so why would she want to prove herself to you? The opener is supposed to get you through the bitch shield, you're not that far in yet, in fact you'd be hitting it head on.
Library: "Hey, do you know how to use the card catalogue? I've got no idea what I'm doing in a library, but I figured hey, you wear glasses, so you must be smart, right?" and say it with a smirk like you KNOW you're full of bullshit. Follow up by actually letting her help you and just keep up C&F, but make it feel like you really needed the help, it wasn't an excuse to talk to her. Might transition into humorous stereotypes like the one you just used on her about the glasses.
Cafeteria: If she's got an open book she's looking at, walk up and take it from her (be a good boy and hold her place) and say "No studying during lunch time!!" Then neg her about wasting her break studying, she should be relaxing. If conversation does not transition smoothly and QUICKLY, EJECT. Make this just one pass, you can open her again on another day, no harm no foul and it'll be easier the next time. This works more often than not.
I'll keep thinking for you, since I know time is of the essence right now...
RedSeraph 11-15-2006, 04:08 PM Hey, stalkerboy, does she usually eat by herself or with friends?
Manowar 11-15-2006, 04:15 PM Shes not in the library anymore, ill probably see her in the caf later
Thanks red for the input, i dont know if im just so newb, but that book thing doesnt look cool to me. But then again i dont know much about this, and like we were all at once, i guess i keep thinking i must have something "cool" to say before walking up to a girl (like david d says O.o)
hmm.. i think by herself which is a huge plus
RedSeraph 11-15-2006, 04:29 PM NO, not a huge plus necessarily...
Yeah, you're super noob. Here's what your problem is (PS, I'm not mad at you) but you have everything BASS ACKWARDS right now. Don't worry, I did too.
The reason the book thing works is because it's playful. By saying she shouldn't be studying, you're implying that she's boring. Then you give the book back to her, with your finger still on her page, so no harm's done, and walk away.
Her being alone MAY work for you, but actually it's better if she is in a group. That way when your presence suddenly hits the group, they don't all get hit so hard with "WTF a stranger?" cuz they each take a portion of it. If you approach her one-on-one, she's got to have all her shields up and give you 100% defense, get it? According to Mystery Method, you want to approach a group, and you should actually address OTHER people than the target first, get them to dig you as a whole, then pay her some attention, then immediately take it away so she misses it. Push her further out like she's unimportant and when you notice she's fighting to recover your attention - you've hooked her.
But more on that later. If she's alone... geez... Um... Maybe a comment on what she's eating? On anything going on in the cafeteria?
What your instinct appears to be right now is that you're assuming she wants to meet someone, so she should be open to your approach. Afterall, she's all by herself, "clearly she must be lonely." NO. This is not the case. She's in her own little world, and she's content there. She doesn't want to meet anyone, particularly you. So you need to just get her attention so that she knows you exist, and then you need to entice her to want to be in your world rather than hers. Stuff like "Hey you look like someone I'd like to meet" CLEARLY TRANSLATES as "Hey your world looks a hell of a lot cooler than mine, I want to get into your world." This is DUMB. Her world is her safe zone, she wants to stay there, and if you're invading it, then it isn't safe. Furthermore, by saying her world looks better than yours, you might as well say "My world sucks. If you were in my world, you'd realize how much it sucks to be here." If someone said that to you, would YOU be enticed into going over there? No way, man. Come on.
RedSeraph 11-15-2006, 04:35 PM This is what we call the "casual opener". Anything you say to her for the opener has to be totally non-committal, non-confrontational, non-invasive. I mean given, my book opener above was invasive, but it was a joke and then you walk on, like I said, fast eject in that scenario.
The reason the card catalogue opener I made would work is because it's in the pretense that you need help with something. This is not directly related to her, and doesn't look at all like you're needy. So any openers you make up, they're better if the topic is something that isn't direct about either of you. A comment on the food you're eating, the place you're sitting, the book she's reading, and the more you can make it feel like "I don't give a shit about you, I'm genuinely a fan of that author" or "You're not important, but I want a chance to bitch about chemistry" is at least better than "I really want to invade your personal bubble."
Following me?
Manowar 11-15-2006, 04:41 PM Nice, nice its all appreciated.
The reason why i mentioned it to be a plus if she is alone is that i feel more comfortable being it that way. I just have the idea in my mind that makes them more harmless, opposed to a group where i feel like im a total outsider and i got to prove myslef to them.
And i dont know i feel like crashing and burning just for the sake of practice, i mean i can read everything there is in the interweb, but without practice i wont get anywhere, maybe im just a masochist but i think it be kinda funny to get shot down. I got a date for tommorow anyway 8)
RedSeraph 11-15-2006, 04:51 PM Ok good, I like your attitude about crashing and burning for practice. Just want you to learn from what goes wrong, because the reason an AFC STAYS and AFC is because he learns the WRONG things from his experiences, he interprets his failures wrong.
So like, I know that it's easier on YOU to approach one person, thinking "oh, I just have to impress one person, easier than 4", that... That's a sign to me that you need validation in yourself. That's a sign of insecurity/inconfidence. Doesn't make you a loser, because holy crap, you'll run into this criticism a few hundred times in the next year here. So the deal when you approach is to flip the script. Get egomaniacal if you have to, but frame this situation in your mind that THEY have to prove to YOU why they're cool. Including this chick. I mean really, what's so cool about her? Her looks. Big deal. Have you talked to her? No. How do you know she's not psycho, has an xbf she's desperate to get with who's been abusive and she won't go, what if she's so clingy that she'll never leave you alone once you get to know each other, and all she does it talk about stuff that annoys you? She could have any number of things wrong with her. Find out what those are. Grade her hard. YOU'RE the prize, son.
Doing what I can, sorry I'm pressing so hard in a short time. Again, I appreciate that you're trying, and win or fail, please try. Often.
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